Invited to a Destination Wedding!
My dearest friend is having her Destination Wedding in Mexico and the invitation has just arrived!! But I had to give her the sad news that I couldn’t attend. Confirming your presence when RSVP’ing is the easy part but what if you can’t attend?
This is not the first time I’ve received an invitation to a Destination Wedding and proper etichette suggests that you answer quickly “yes” or “no”. You see, time is of the essence. The couple has many commitments to which the number of guests confirmed is essential such as the caterer, hotels and transfers, to name a few.
Many of which must all be booked in super-advance with little room for last minute adjustments. So proper etichette would be to respond immediately.
This may seem obvious but some people think they are being disrespectful by answering right away with a “no, we cannot make it”. But this is more of a social problem, that is, we are raised to please people and so a “yes” is always preferable to a “no” but when it comes to Destination Weddings, the sooner the “no”, the better. You may think you are doing the couple a favour by not responding quickly but you’re not. You are creating difficulty in implementing services and financial commitments.
Just imagine the room they’ve blocked for you and you’ve decided to tell them last minute that you will not be attending.
So how do you RSVP that you won’t be attending? You do so gracefully and begin by thanking the couple for inviting you, for example, “Thank you for inviting us to be part of your special day! It saddens us to not be there but … (an explanation as to why is always greatly appreciated). We wish you a beautiful and enchanting wedding day!!” Most couples understand the difficulty to pick-up and move to another country, even if only for a weekend, so, in some cases, a reception is arranged for those who couldn’t make it to the wedding. This gives those who couldn’t attend the wedding to partake in the festivities with the opportunity to bring the happy couple a wonderful gift.
Just because you can’t attend does not mean that you are not obliged to give a gift so if a second reception has not been organized you’ll have to find a way to get the gift to them. I had one guest pay for the wedding cake which was much appreciated!
As to my dearest friend I followed proper etichette and immediately informed her that I couldn’t attend due to a prior engagement. She understood and we made a promise to meet in Italy in the near future.
I’m so happy for her and I wish them all the best on their Wedding Day!